© S.R. Kim and Up From the Ash – Demeter’s Lament 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Ruby Baxter-Rey and Up From the Ash – Demeter’s Lament with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
July 21, 2013
Please say it ain't so!
Is this satire? Is someone running another fake internet story? Please tell me Will Smith did not say this: "Interracial adoption is just so hot right now," Will explained, "It's done wonders for Angelina's career, and following the whole After Earth thing, I'm hoping for a similar boost."
Will and Jada Smith Adopt
Will and Jada Smith Adopt
July 19, 2013
Prof Elizabeth Samuels research study on Surrender Documents
http://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=2233400
University of Baltimore - School of Law
2013
20 Michigan Journal of Gender and Law 33 (2013)
Abstract:
For more than 30 years adoption law reform advocates have been seeking to restore for adult adoptees the right to access their original birth certificates, a right that was lost in all but two states between the late 1930s and 1990. The advocates have faced strong opposition and have succeeded only in recent years and only in eight states. Among the most vigorous advocates for access are “birth mothers” who surrendered their children during a time it was believed that adoption would relieve unmarried women of shame and restore them to a respectable life.
The birth mother advocates say that when they surrendered their children, their wishes were subordinated and their voices silenced. They say they want to be heard now as they raise their voices in support of adult adoptees’ rights to information in government records about their original identities. Opponents of restoring access, in “women-protective rhetoric” reminiscent of recent anti-abortion efforts, argue that access would harm birth mothers, violating their rights and bringing shame anew through unwanted exposure of out-of-wedlock births. Opponents say they must speak for birth mothers who cannot come forward to speak for themselves. Birth mother advocates respond that the impetus historically for closing records was to protect adoptive families from public scrutiny and from interference by birth parents, rather than to protect birth mothers from being identified in the future by their children. They maintain that birth mothers did not choose and were not legally guaranteed lifelong anonymity. They point out that when laws that have restored access have been challenged, courts have found neither statutory guarantees of nor constitutional rights to anonymity. They also offer evidence that an overwhelming majority of birth mothers are open to contact with their now grown children.
As a means of assessing these competing claims, this article analyzes the provisions in a collection of birth mother surrender documents assembled by the author — seventy-five mid-twentieth century documents executed in twenty-six different states. In order to establish the significance of the provisions with respect to these claims, the article first relates depictions by birth mothers of a journey from silence to legislative advocacy. The article then examines the conflicting claims about birth mothers that pervade legislative contests over adult adoptee access to original birth certificates. Finally, the article analyzes the provisions of the surrender documents. The analysis of the provisions definitively supports birth mother advocates’ reports that women were neither offered a choice of nor guaranteed lifelong anonymity. Their opponents’ contentions to the contrary, whether motivated by concern for birth mothers or other interests, reinscribe an earlier culture of shame and secrecy, subordinating women’s own wishes and silencing their newly raised voices.
Surrender and Subordination: Birth Mothers and Adoption Law Reform
Elizabeth J. Samuels
University of Baltimore - School of Law
2013
20 Michigan Journal of Gender and Law 33 (2013)
Abstract:
For more than 30 years adoption law reform advocates have been seeking to restore for adult adoptees the right to access their original birth certificates, a right that was lost in all but two states between the late 1930s and 1990. The advocates have faced strong opposition and have succeeded only in recent years and only in eight states. Among the most vigorous advocates for access are “birth mothers” who surrendered their children during a time it was believed that adoption would relieve unmarried women of shame and restore them to a respectable life.
The birth mother advocates say that when they surrendered their children, their wishes were subordinated and their voices silenced. They say they want to be heard now as they raise their voices in support of adult adoptees’ rights to information in government records about their original identities. Opponents of restoring access, in “women-protective rhetoric” reminiscent of recent anti-abortion efforts, argue that access would harm birth mothers, violating their rights and bringing shame anew through unwanted exposure of out-of-wedlock births. Opponents say they must speak for birth mothers who cannot come forward to speak for themselves. Birth mother advocates respond that the impetus historically for closing records was to protect adoptive families from public scrutiny and from interference by birth parents, rather than to protect birth mothers from being identified in the future by their children. They maintain that birth mothers did not choose and were not legally guaranteed lifelong anonymity. They point out that when laws that have restored access have been challenged, courts have found neither statutory guarantees of nor constitutional rights to anonymity. They also offer evidence that an overwhelming majority of birth mothers are open to contact with their now grown children.
As a means of assessing these competing claims, this article analyzes the provisions in a collection of birth mother surrender documents assembled by the author — seventy-five mid-twentieth century documents executed in twenty-six different states. In order to establish the significance of the provisions with respect to these claims, the article first relates depictions by birth mothers of a journey from silence to legislative advocacy. The article then examines the conflicting claims about birth mothers that pervade legislative contests over adult adoptee access to original birth certificates. Finally, the article analyzes the provisions of the surrender documents. The analysis of the provisions definitively supports birth mother advocates’ reports that women were neither offered a choice of nor guaranteed lifelong anonymity. Their opponents’ contentions to the contrary, whether motivated by concern for birth mothers or other interests, reinscribe an earlier culture of shame and secrecy, subordinating women’s own wishes and silencing their newly raised voices.
Number of Pages in PDF File: 64
Accepted Paper Series
July 6, 2013
Sandy Musser's ALARM - Advocating Legislation for the Adoption Reform Movement WHITE HOUSE CAMPAIGN!
Re: White House Campaign
We are planning a letter campaign
enmasse directly to the White House from July 28th (when the 14th
Amendment was ratified) and August 4th – Obama’s birthday. Each
mailing should include a hard copy of the Adoptee Restoration Act
which is attached. Your BRIEF
personal note should be handwritten on the back of the flyer. See below for
more info. Let your friends and family know, so they can
join in. E-mail me at muss102@aol.com
if you need a copy of the ARA or if you have one, feel free to copy it for
others.
THE ADOPTEES’ RESTORATION ACT IS ALARM'S PRIMARY INITIATIVE AND FOCUS. Legislation is currently
being pursued in individual states by other groups and organizations; ALARM
will continue to support those efforts. But ALARM has chosen to
pursue a national effort. This is a lofty
goal and many think it's crazy, but we won’t know until we try! At
first, I thought we might pursue the Congressional legislators, but we all know how slow they are to act on anything or to get anything done;
therefore we felt this would be a quicker route to pursue. This in no way
conflicts with the individual State efforts. If anything, it
may cause the States to pick up speed as we continue to get the word
out.
Whenever you are discussing the basis for adoptees having
their OBC's, always quote the 14th Amendment. It’s very very clear.- study it –
memorize it if you can. This amendment
has been responsible for all the civil rights laws passed in the past 125 years.
Don't
get bogged down with any other issues.
OBC’s
is a civil rights issue and a national issue. It
will not cost the government or the States any money to implement an Executive Order
because the Vital Stat Offices are already distributing birth
certificates. In other words, they will
continue to do what they’ve always done – provide original birth certificates
to their citizens. It will be an UNFUNDED Mandate.
The ARA is also available as a 13x19 poster with the same verbiage.
If you would like one, e-mail your mailing address to muss102@aol.com As we post
these all over the country, we will be educating many people who are still in
the dark about adoption issues. . It is
one of the most concise pieces of material for bringing awareness to those who
are still in the dark about adoption. Many still believe that adoptees have
access to their information once they become adults. They are usually
shocked to learn that they do not!
OUR PRIMARY
GOAL IS TO REACH THE EAR OF THE PRESIDENT IN HOPES THAT HE WILL BE WILLING
TO ISSUE AN EXECUTIVE
ORDER for the ADOPTEES RESTORATION ACT BEFORE HE
LEAVES OFFICE. The best part of an Executive Order is that CONGRESS CANNOT OVERRIDE IT! When the President decides to issue it, there
would be no haggling. All States would have to comply! It would be the most
wonderful gift the President could give to the adopted population and their
families. It took an Executive Order by President Eisenhower back in 1957 to desegregate
the schools.
There have been hundreds of
Executive Orders made by every President of the U.S, but, according to
research, President Obama has had the least amount of all. Adoption
records have been sealed for over 75 years!
Before
he leaves office, let’s do everything we can to encourage him to make the most
important Executive Order ever - to provide every adoptee in America with a
copy of their OBC!
I truly believe that if President Obama is presented
with our issue that he would endorse the Adoptees’ Restoration Act via an
Executive Order! Having had his own
birth certificate problem, I believe he would
“get it” if we can just get to him!!!
THE
PLAN:
1) Everyone taking part
in the campaign will send the ARA flyer in a #10 COLOR (any color) envelope.
2) In the lower left
hand corner, handwrite Happy Birthday, Mr. President or President Obama.
3) On the back of the
flyer, give the specifics of your birth / adoption – i.e d/o/b, p/o/b – that you believe it is your
civil right to have a copy of your obc and be sure to sign your name and
current address.
4) You may want to
mention that you are pleased that he has a copy of his certificate and you hope
that he will agree to an E.O. in order for you to be able to obtain yours! Remind
him that time is always of the essence. You don’t want to find a grave at the
end of your search. Or what if what of
his girls had been placed for adoption – does he realize he would never be able
to know her under our current laws!
5) The important thing is to try to keep it
brief! Try not to ramble. The flyer
will speak for itself and the personal
notes on the back of the flyer coming from all over the country will provide
the needed impact.
In the meantime, let’s continue to blanket the country with
this simple one-page flyer and/or 13x19 poster that tells our story succinctly.
At some point the 100th Monkey Concept/Theory (see Wikipedia) will kick in and
we'll be home free!!
After you've had a chance to digest this
information, let me know if you’re interested in a leadership position with the
ALARM organization. No pay – just great satisfaction. We are on the ground
floor. Your comments, suggestions, ideas, etc. are welcomed and
encouraged. We're all in this together! Feel free to contact me if
you have any questions. Thanks so much
for your interest and participation. WE
WILL OVERCOME!
May 1, 2013
Please sign this petition!
https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/provide-every-adopted-person-copy-their-original-birth-certificate-and-undue-75-years-ancestricide/41h4DSwk
April 27, 2013
appeal to natural mothers who relinquished children in non-kinship adoptions during the decades from the 1940s through the 1990s:
Prof. Elizabeth Samuels, from the University of Baltimore School of
Law, has issued this appeal to birth mothers who relinquished children
in non-kinship adoptions during the decades from the 1940s through the
1990s:
“I am collecting surrender documents that women signed during
the period frob m the 1940s through the 1990s in adoptions in which
the birth and adoptive parents did not know one another [meaning it was non-kinship]. So far women
have generously shared with almost 70 documents from 25 different
states. I am planning to write about the language and the legal import
of the language that was used in these documents with respect to the
rights and obligations of birth mothers. While it would be impossible
to define or collect a ‘representative sample’ of documents, I believe
a paper about the documents can help advance our understanding, and
correct some misunderstandings, about the nature of the legal
agreements into which mothers typically entered. If you have such a
document and are willing to share it — and have not yet shared it with
me — please send a copy, or any questions about the project, or both,
to: Prof. Elizabeth Samuels University of Baltimore School of Law 1420
North Charles Street Baltimore, MD 21201-5779"
April 11, 2013
Adopting back my daughter
I wanted to share my experience of adopting back my adult daughter. We wanted to annul her original adoption, but it seems that is not allowed for some reason...something else that needs to be looked at in reform. At any rate, we did the next best thing we could and adopted her back and though my daughter and husband were thrilled to have him involved and listed as her father (he is not her natural father), I also found it oppressive that you HAVE to include your husband, that he HAS to be listed on (yet another) amended birth certificate as being her natural father. So many delicate little intricacies in this mess we call adoption that must be looked at and changed.
Once all was said and done, we were just glad to have survived it...all so happy to be a family again...to have my daughter "home".
One day I'll write about the nightmare experience of trying to obtain my daughter's 1st amended BC (immediately after we adopted her back), but for now, this is the story that was ever so kindly posted at adoptingback.com.
http://adoptingback.com/adopting-back/adopting-back-my-daughter/
Once all was said and done, we were just glad to have survived it...all so happy to be a family again...to have my daughter "home".
One day I'll write about the nightmare experience of trying to obtain my daughter's 1st amended BC (immediately after we adopted her back), but for now, this is the story that was ever so kindly posted at adoptingback.com.
http://adoptingback.com/adopting-back/adopting-back-my-daughter/
Mother's Day Letter Writing Campaign!
I am not the creator of this campaign but stand by it every year. Each year as Mother's Day approaches, we write letters to the First Lady (regardless who she is or what administration she stands under). Tell your story, share your thoughts on reform from restoring OBCs to human rights issues to total adoption reform. Whatever you think might help...please do it!
And please let me note the obvious...no one need be as long winded as me...such verbosity is one of my problems...ugh.
My far_too_long letter to the First Lady
And please let me note the obvious...no one need be as long winded as me...such verbosity is one of my problems...ugh.
My far_too_long letter to the First Lady
April 8, 2013
Please bear with me...
This blog has been the epitome of the work in progress, as am I:)
I've decided it is best to post a synopsis of my story rather than the whole thing in such enormous detail. Not only will it make my life easier, but perhaps more people will understand what I am trying to say, without having to read through a hundred pages of blog posts. I hope to have this "synopsis" up by week's end.
From there I will dedicate this blog to adoption news stories, activism, promoting fellow first families and adoptees. I'm sure there will be news and opinions about abuse and poverty, social services dysfunctions and such since I see it all not just as important, but completely inter-related in our world today.
I think I will start with some (badly written) poetry I scribbled down in the years after losing my daughter. Perhaps it will be a good enough introduction to what is only one average every day woman's story.
Let it be known that "average every day woman" is nothing like we pretend it is. My daughter (K) was adopted in October of 1991 after I spent every moment since learning I was pregnant in December of 1990 till she was 4 months old trying to keep her with me, trying desperately to be the mother I knew I was and wanted to be. I began to get a clue about all the excuses the adoptive parents made to our "completely open" adoption agreement by 1995, when K was 4 years old. they'd shut me out by age 2...it just took me a while to melt down about it and even then, while in depression and writing this "poetry" in my journal...I still wasn't able to acknowledge it was about K, but it was.
This is bare bones a woman grieving and coming out of the fog so very painfully slowly.
___________
the beautiful hardwood floors rot beneath
clinging to a waste-filled toilet
with tear-smeared smiles
where neglected beauty dies and gives way under a trusting foot
vile humanity covers the other in her desperation to hang on without fear of the stench
in the presence of anguished hope
in a terror of trust when the floors fall through
crack,
slip,
plaster
and wood...
creaking pipes and her too
laughing all the way down
being sure to savor the thrill of the fall
covered in piss
smeared with shit
and a smile so sincerely placed across her lips.
~SKim 1996
____________________________________
Within the Death Rattle you came -
Posthumous
through a nebulous and Strident Scream of Obeisance
Defining Debauchery-
Ambrosial Persuasion
sending me into The Trance
Provocative Reverie
Delicate and Profound
in Baneful Compliance I am Overcome
And sent back into the Vapid Death Rattle.
~SKim 1997
______________________________________
...In the blatant lifelessness of some Emancipated Death
free of flaw, blemish, defect or Stain-
She Simply Loves
~SKim 1997
_________________________________________
with great celerity of haste
i summoned my chattels
chased away the dew of my cheeks
took communion with the warrior's song
and found a kaleidoscopic view
of the core of me missing you
~SKim 1997
___________________________________________
An Aboriginal Reverberation Strikes the Current of Enlightenment—
A Profuse Resplendence of Time.
~SKim 1998
______________________________________________
A Phantom Rain Seems to impede my Reverent Meandering—
Faithful, Dewy-Eyed Wandering
Where I refrain from Desultory Steps And
Fade into a Malevolent Bovine Sky.
~SKim 1998
____________________________________________
Autumn’s Hour Passed
Gasping Out Languorous Loneliness
In Far Away Fumblings
Of Your Silent, Sleeping
Winter Memories
~SKim 1999
___________________________________________
where did childhood sleep?
so solemn and smooth-
trapped in the recognition-
unsure of hope
Not Sin.
~SKim 1999
______________________________________________
THESE EAGER HANDS
FOUND WITHIN THE DAY-
POIGNANT LIES AWAITING REVERIE-
OF THIS SOULFUL MEMORY
~SKim 1999
_______________________________________________
they say i galloped valiantly through a passage of error
a ghostly chasm of shadow and shade
a phantom in twilight with no beginning -
to timidly Glean and Gather the Godless
who gawked at this gnarled Forgotten Heathen
bloodstained and murderous assassin
heralding cruel and crippling Hate for the Harlot -
the Whore, the Grassroots - the Middle America
Haggard and Hollow-eyed, I am whiskey-voiced Glutton of Carnage and Shame
the crestfallen gypsy
screaming Hosanna in search of Manna through a throaty gurgle –
there’s voluble silence where it seems the Assassin is my Beacon
The Damnable Guide
~SKim 2000
_________________________________________________
ROSES BLOOM TO A TIMELY TUNE
ROLLING ME OVER IN MY TOMB
~SKim 2001
____________________________________________________
she pulled the pin from her hair and tossed it to the sink
where it tumbled to the floor too fast, with a dizzying clink
echoing the days and hours in its grasp
all the love and weary long lashed eyes
every hello and every goodbye
~SKim 2005
I've decided it is best to post a synopsis of my story rather than the whole thing in such enormous detail. Not only will it make my life easier, but perhaps more people will understand what I am trying to say, without having to read through a hundred pages of blog posts. I hope to have this "synopsis" up by week's end.
From there I will dedicate this blog to adoption news stories, activism, promoting fellow first families and adoptees. I'm sure there will be news and opinions about abuse and poverty, social services dysfunctions and such since I see it all not just as important, but completely inter-related in our world today.
I think I will start with some (badly written) poetry I scribbled down in the years after losing my daughter. Perhaps it will be a good enough introduction to what is only one average every day woman's story.
Let it be known that "average every day woman" is nothing like we pretend it is. My daughter (K) was adopted in October of 1991 after I spent every moment since learning I was pregnant in December of 1990 till she was 4 months old trying to keep her with me, trying desperately to be the mother I knew I was and wanted to be. I began to get a clue about all the excuses the adoptive parents made to our "completely open" adoption agreement by 1995, when K was 4 years old. they'd shut me out by age 2...it just took me a while to melt down about it and even then, while in depression and writing this "poetry" in my journal...I still wasn't able to acknowledge it was about K, but it was.
This is bare bones a woman grieving and coming out of the fog so very painfully slowly.
___________
the beautiful hardwood floors rot beneath
clinging to a waste-filled toilet
with tear-smeared smiles
where neglected beauty dies and gives way under a trusting foot
vile humanity covers the other in her desperation to hang on without fear of the stench
in the presence of anguished hope
in a terror of trust when the floors fall through
crack,
slip,
plaster
and wood...
creaking pipes and her too
laughing all the way down
being sure to savor the thrill of the fall
covered in piss
smeared with shit
and a smile so sincerely placed across her lips.
~SKim 1996
____________________________________
Within the Death Rattle you came -
Posthumous
through a nebulous and Strident Scream of Obeisance
Defining Debauchery-
Ambrosial Persuasion
sending me into The Trance
Provocative Reverie
Delicate and Profound
in Baneful Compliance I am Overcome
And sent back into the Vapid Death Rattle.
~SKim 1997
______________________________________
...In the blatant lifelessness of some Emancipated Death
free of flaw, blemish, defect or Stain-
She Simply Loves
~SKim 1997
_________________________________________
with great celerity of haste
i summoned my chattels
chased away the dew of my cheeks
took communion with the warrior's song
and found a kaleidoscopic view
of the core of me missing you
~SKim 1997
___________________________________________
An Aboriginal Reverberation Strikes the Current of Enlightenment—
A Profuse Resplendence of Time.
~SKim 1998
______________________________________________
A Phantom Rain Seems to impede my Reverent Meandering—
Faithful, Dewy-Eyed Wandering
Where I refrain from Desultory Steps And
Fade into a Malevolent Bovine Sky.
~SKim 1998
____________________________________________
Autumn’s Hour Passed
Gasping Out Languorous Loneliness
In Far Away Fumblings
Of Your Silent, Sleeping
Winter Memories
~SKim 1999
___________________________________________
where did childhood sleep?
so solemn and smooth-
trapped in the recognition-
unsure of hope
Not Sin.
~SKim 1999
______________________________________________
THESE EAGER HANDS
FOUND WITHIN THE DAY-
POIGNANT LIES AWAITING REVERIE-
OF THIS SOULFUL MEMORY
~SKim 1999
_______________________________________________
they say i galloped valiantly through a passage of error
a ghostly chasm of shadow and shade
a phantom in twilight with no beginning -
to timidly Glean and Gather the Godless
who gawked at this gnarled Forgotten Heathen
bloodstained and murderous assassin
heralding cruel and crippling Hate for the Harlot -
the Whore, the Grassroots - the Middle America
Haggard and Hollow-eyed, I am whiskey-voiced Glutton of Carnage and Shame
the crestfallen gypsy
screaming Hosanna in search of Manna through a throaty gurgle –
there’s voluble silence where it seems the Assassin is my Beacon
The Damnable Guide
~SKim 2000
_________________________________________________
ROSES BLOOM TO A TIMELY TUNE
ROLLING ME OVER IN MY TOMB
~SKim 2001
____________________________________________________
she pulled the pin from her hair and tossed it to the sink
where it tumbled to the floor too fast, with a dizzying clink
echoing the days and hours in its grasp
all the love and weary long lashed eyes
every hello and every goodbye
~SKim 2005
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